Eight ways to define Santa Claus that prove that definitions aren’t good at defining
Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor
1. Little and old—terms given to slow, overly cautious drivers or the frail, sick, and weak elderly we sometimes like to shove into retirement homes
2. Dressed all in fur—either this means he facilitates the murder of innocent animals (can you say cute baby seals?) or he is a member of an Alaskan Inuit tribe.
3. Clothes tarnished by ashes and soot—is he an orphan-forced-chimney sweep in 19th century England? Or a hobo straight of the streets of New York City? You decide.