Kit Clemente & Giuliana Savini
We all know that there are unwritten rules in high school. But by senior year, when all your attention is being focused towards orientation in August, you begin to recognize the ways that you’ve been living your life. As we descend from Mount Sinai, with glowing rays of light emanating from behind our holy heads, we present to you the ten most important of the high school commandments.
Number One: Thou must ride the wave
There comes a time in every Ram’s athletic career where they must make an unfortunate DHS wave feel as if they have no right to lace up a cleat or walk onto a court ever again. But, as the Rams are classy and refrain from heinous acts such as proper- ty destruction via urine, simply walk onto the field, do the job, and walk off like it was no thang at all. And if you’ve really ridden the wave, as you’re walking to the bus, turn around to see them wallowing in their self pity like sad water buffalo. But if things don’t necessarily work out your way, remember senior Alex Yuditski’s nugget of wisdom, “Darien, you may have won this time, but our homes still have more property value than yours because you have an I-95 exit #poverty.”
Number Two: Thou shalt use any means possible to get off campus
If you haven’t hidden in someone’s trunk, done “the great escape,” forged an off cam- pus sticker, used someone else’s ID, or waited for your friends to pick you up from the front lawn in order to get off campus, you have not lived. We all know getting that CT Muf- fin vanilla chai latte is not the most important thing in the world, but when the cruel admin- istration is preventing you from getting off campus, it sure seems that way. It’s high school for god’s sakes, if we’ve learned anything from our time here it’s to defy the man whenev- er possible. Sometimes you gotta break the rules to have a little fun. Plus, who doesn’t love to see Helen’s shocked face when you have the nerve to speed past her off campus?
Number Three: Thou shalt not let Ms. Luhtala see you eating food in the library
Hunger always trumps the wrath of the librarians (however angry and intimidating they may be.) Trust me, I have 
lived through the feeling that I MUST reach into my bag to grab those pretzels, try to eat my lunch in the quiet section while cramming for a test, or sneak my Robeks into the library. How do I, along with the many other students, get away with this? It’s all about hiding food under the table, trying to get the most secluded seat in the place, or scanning the library before rapidly shoving bites of snackage down your throat. Who cares if the librarians will practically grab you by the collar and drag you out, posting wanted signs for your imprisonment outside the library doors? Those posters showing Robeks spilled on the library floor will not deter us miscreants! Go forth!
Number Four: Thou must hit rock bottom during junior year
Just the words alone induce a cold sweat– junior year. Otherwise known as a time for sleeping atop APUSH notebooks hoping you’ll learn through osmosis and crying once you realize how much work you have to do and how DAMN LONG the year is. Once it’s all over, you feel such relief….until you realize senior year is just as bad. The sheer number of times you have to log into college board to send your SAT scores will ruin your will to live. That is not what I like to call closure. The good news is that once you walk across Dunning Field, snatch the diploma from Dr. Luizzi’s apprehensive grasp, and finally make it out of the bottleneck that is the high school parking lot one last time, you’ll realize how much you’ve grown.
Number Five: Thou must never finish your Zumbach’s before returning to school
Like are you out of your MIND?! The whole reason for getting your license is to be able to walk into the lounge with that iconic cup of coffee, which you don’t even really like but you’ll stomach it any ways. Any newly licensed sophomore or junior will deny this, but if you finish your Z’s before you can flaunt it…I can’t even. High school is a time where you receive freedoms that you’ve been denied thus far, and dis-playing the benefits of those newly acquired privileges is what makes it worth it. Let’s review the necessary elements: Strut? Check. Arm extended? Check. Feeling like the man? Double check. Your friends will chirp, “Hey bro did you go off or something?” and you’ll retort with a satisfied smile, “Yes. Yes I did.”
Number Six: Thou must get on the dartboard
We’ve all had our fair share of NCHS personnel who have made us lose all faith in adults. But if there is one person who encompasses the beautiful balance between a wisecrack- ing friend and a thoughtful mentor, it’s Bill Brown. In the fall, weary athletes find comfort in his kindness as he dishes out peanut butter cracker sandwiches from a seemingly endless stash. And if you’re having a bad day, simply seek him out during passing time and be uplifted by a classic Bill catchphrase. Last month, he surprised me with what would soon be- come one of my favorite encounters in this school, as he said, “Hey G, you know I got a list of awesome people in the world, and even though I’m at the top, you’re a pretty close second.” Bill Brown’s presence is a welcomed interruption to the monotony of the Monday to Friday routine, so it is truly in every student’s best interest to invite him into your days.
Number Seven: Thou shalt have a plethora of awkward moments
Whether it be walking into the wrong gender bathroom, being caught taking a Snapchat of someone, or accidentally cursing loudly when your class is quiet, all awkward moments are a part high school. But no matter how much you might want to curl up on the floor in fetal position for the rest of your life when something dreadfully uncomfortable happens, just remember that if MTV’s “Awkward” taught us anything, it’s that the more awkward moments you have, the more hot boys fight over you. Who wouldn’t trade a few dire situations for their own Matty Mckibben?
Number Eight: Thou shalt use the elevator whenever possible
The importance of the elevator can never be understated. We all know high school is a marathon, each day is a race, and every second counts. Better utilize your time wisely, preserve energy to the best of your ability, and take lots of water breaks. But most importantly, do not let any of the faculty catch you using the elevator. Otherwise they might tell you, like they did to me one time that “the elevator is for the physically disabled, not the mentally.” Can you say ouch?
Number nine: Thou must attend an Outback function
A quintessential part of high school is returning to the awkwardness that is the Outback dance. As you stumble through the doors, it is hard not to vaguely reminisce on those middle school Friday nights when you essentially died and went to heaven when Flo Rida’s “Low” came on. Though to your inevitable dismay, simply being a high schooler does not eliminate the possibility of an uncomfortable night. And as you seek the source of this awkwardness, you will find that it exists in this simple question: to grind, or not to grind?
Number ten: Thou shalt not let the h8trz stop you from doin’ yo’ thang
Somewhere, hidden in the depths of our hearts, our freak flags sadly, but inevitably, lie. And as you’re filling out your forms for your cap and gown, the last thing you wanna think about is all the dust that has collected on your neglected freak flag. High school is a cutthroat place, I get it. But in the wise words of whoever said it first, you won’t re- gret what you did, you’ll regret what you didn’t do. SO LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY BISHES. Go ahead you weirdo. Stay home on a Friday night, watch Mulan, and enjoy it.