Kelly Saiz
Editor-in-Chief
Maybe it’s my mother’s southern roots or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve lived in Ye Olde NC for the past eleven years, but I grew up with a plethora of books about manners, cotillion, and Walter Schalk’s Ballroom Dance Class (who didn’t love getting their feet stomped on or waltzing with their arch nemesis?). Chivalry might be dead, but I’m definitely not the only one in NCHS who thinks about manners.
People tend to notice the little things when it comes to manners. “I try to hold the door open for people and I try not to swear that much,” sophomore Jack Robey said. “I always say ‘thank you’ and ‘hello’ to my teachers.”
“One of the things I love to do, especially when I’m driving, is just wave to everyone that I pass by. I think the same applies once I get to school or when I’m walking around by myself,” senior Taylor Wilson said. “When people say ‘hi’ to me it ups my mood, so I try to reciprocate that feeling.”
We learn manners from television, movies, books, peers, teachers, and siblings, but it’s no secret that Mom and Dad are playing the starring roles in our indoctrination into polite society. “They kind of ingrain it in you when you’re young,” senior Holly Burwick said.
History teacher Stephen Vehslage said that manners are fundamentally about respect. “It’s about being present, particularly in the day of cell phones. When you’re looking at people’s manners, it’s about positive engagement, respect and being responsive,” he said.
In the age of instant communication, there is no question that manners are evolving. Not only do we have to consider table manners, driving etiquette, and basic ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, but we also have to deal with the unwritten rules of emailing, texting, facebooking, and #twittering. (“That’s so rude, why hasn’t he texted me back yet?”)
“Manners have decreased because of the end of face to face communication,” senior Maggie O’Rourke said. “People to people skills are not present because people are used to communication online or in text.”
Could this mean that by the time I have children, if I ever have children, I will produce an awkward species of human who don’t know how to say sentences without acronyms? What if baby’s first word is ‘iPhone’, or worse, ‘hologram’? I tend to think not, but it’s not like Shakespeare would have thought we wouldn’t be saying ‘methinks’ in 2012 anymore, either.
Senior Steph Benko said the technology issue is really one of prioritization. “I think we always put technology first, but we should put people first because people to people skills are important,” she said. “It’s easier to text but it’s harder to have an actual conversation face to face.”
And what about those bad manners? “I am more likely to notice the presence of bad manners than I am to notice the presence of good manners,” Mr. Vehslage said. “When I meet someone with good manners I tend to think about whatever the substance of the interaction is but I’m more likely to focus on manners as a concept if they are missing.”
I’ve come to think that manners are the thing that I most easily associate with a person. A ‘nice’ person is usually nice because they are polite and friendly. “When I meet a person with good manners I think about a person who cares about other people,” Jack said. “When I meet someone with bad manners I think they’re kind of rude and they only care about themselves.”
I agree that having good manners is probably a pretty good indication of unselfishness. When someone gives me their undivided attention or even opens a door for me, I feel like they are making that much extra effort to make me more comfortable.
Even with the complication of technology, manners in NCHS are generally decent. “We are blessed in this school to have kids who are by and large respectful and well mannered,” Mr. Vehslage said.
“Keep being polite NCHS. I think people would be surprised how far manners take them,” Taylor said. Cheers to that!
