Scott O’Brien
Sports Editor
Growing up, the number one rule is that parents know everything. However, in some cases this precedent needs to be thrown in the fire alongside your vintage number 23 Bulls jersey.
I hate to break it to the parenting world but its pretty evident that not every one of you averaged 20 points a game in high school, and even fewer of you played in college. That being said, if you had played in college you would understand how crucial the developmental process is in young athletes.
And for those of you who coach, I know it’s exciting walking up and down the bench screaming pointless phrases such as “defense” and “pass” but in reality nothing you say is going to change the erratic and sloppy pace of the game. I know every dad wants to go home with an undefeated record and the “Coach of the Year” award but in reality the only thing you’re leaving with is more gray hair. You may eventually draw on that 10-dollar whiteboard you bought but only to show your power forward where the post is. In an unsatisfactory way the desire of bringing your son’s team to the promised land gives you the enthusiasm that beating your older brother in the driveway once gave you. But it’s time you let those feelings transfer over to your sons’ generation, without yelling at them for poor execution.
Furthermore, your kids don’t need the suggestion of switching to a 2-3 zone, or running the good ole pick and roll play. So when you sign up to coach your son’s park and recreation team for the local town league, remember that you’re only there to pick your son’s friends in the draft and to call a timeout when they look sluggish after staying up all night. You have to keep in mind that the kids that you are coaching are your children’s peers. The last thing you want is your kid to resent you and your suggestions for the way you carry yourself at athletic events.
Unfortunately this behavior doesn’t just stop in rec league. The kids with the over-controlling parents who try to relive their childhood sports careers through their children end up sucking all of the fun out of the sport. Too much pressure results in kids getting burnt out at an early age. And if you do survive the pressure cooker, it is usually put on display during every game while you parents yells at your every move. As a parent, how do you expect your child to perform when they are trying to process both the game and what you are saying. On the flip side, as a player, why do you even waste your time listening to you parent? I know coaches always say tune it out but I’ve seen very few kids who can do that. Honestly, its time to grow up and take control of the situation.
Growing up in New Canaan, I have seen that these parents are a dime a dozen to the point where it does not even phase me anymore. I just find it so disappointing that parents feel the need to intrude on their child’s life in such a fashion. For those parents who feel the need to shout and yell after every call a ref makes or every move your child makes, if you haven’t realized already, you are doing more harm than good. Unfortunately, it has gotten to a point where they have to make rules like “quiet sidelines” at third grade travel soccer games to contain the parents.
As a high school athlete, I’ve seen parents on all ends of the spectrum through out my athletic career. I’ve found that as long as you present positive opportunities and provide encouragement, the chips will fall where they should. Not only that, it will make your child’s athletic experience much more enjoyable. I’m very thankful that my parents only worried about my behavior on the court or field and let the coaches coach.
I want to take the time to open this up to the readers if you have any stories of your own to share.
