Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor
Facebook is a great, albeit addicting, tool. We all know the benefits—you can meet up with old friends, post pictures, and become an excellent and proficient stalker. However, there is a set of unwritten rules—or perhaps they are just my pet peeves—of what’s acceptable and what’s not on a Facebook page. It’s time these rules be written down and my pet peeves be addressed.
Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor
As spring rolls around and that ever-unattainable, oh-god-not-yet swimsuit body looms dangerously around the corner, the gym becomes increasingly populated with high-schoolers trying to burn off that winter baggage. For gym newbies who are unsure about what to expect at the gym, here’s a list of the people one could expect to meet at a public gym.
Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor
English classes everywhere: it is going to be okay. You can now take that much-needed sigh of relief because, praise Jesus, a new edition of Huckleberry Finn is going to be released. This one will assuage the fears of unassuming English students and nervous English teachers everywhere because, in this new edition, all n-words will be replaced with the word “slave.”
Students will no longer be so drastically and horribly forced to read something that makes them uncomfortable
Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor
1. Little and old—terms given to slow, overly cautious drivers or the frail, sick, and weak elderly we sometimes like to shove into retirement homes
2. Dressed all in fur—either this means he facilitates the murder of innocent animals (can you say cute baby seals?) or he is a member of an Alaskan Inuit tribe.
3. Clothes tarnished by ashes and soot—is he an orphan-forced-chimney sweep in 19th century England? Or a hobo straight of the streets of New York City? You decide.
Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I am, for a brief moment, drastically confused about what I should wear. I wake up in the seasons of ambiguity between summer and fall, or fall and winter, and I frankly don’t know what the weather will be like. Will it be hot? Will it be cold? Is it a shorts day? Can I wear flip flops?
