Abby Weiss, Senior Editor
Being a twin comes with the same questions and comments. It’s okay for people to say them. Heck, if I wasn’t a twin I’d be very interested in what it’s like. However, after hearing them all the time for the past eighteen years, they’re just annoying at this point. Therefore, I’m putting down what I actually want to respond when people say these things.
1. Are you two twins?
Nope.
2. Are you two related?
No idea, we just met each other today.
3. Are you two sisters or are you twins?
Yes.
4. You two kinda look alike…
Well, I didn’t know I was THAT ugly.
5. How do I tell you two apart? (identical)
Figure it out.
6. Stand next to each other.. she’s a got a longer face.. she has shorter hair…
Oh my god, not again.
7. Who’s older? By how long?
Me, 3 minutes.
8. Who’s the evil twin?
Why does only one twin have to be evil? Maybe we both are.
9. Were you planned?
Yes.
10. Who’s {insert adjective}er?
What’s your goal? We try not to be competitive, but this makes things worse.
11. Do you have twin telepathy, can read each other’s minds?
Yes, actually you just interrupted our conversation, so thanks.
12. Do you finish each other’s sentences?
No, we finish each other’s sandwiches.
13. Can you feel each other’s pain?
Punch my twin in the face and find out.
14. Are you going to marry twins?
We don’t plan that far ahead, but the odds of that happening are pretty slim.
15. Are you going to be neighbors when you’re older?
Would YOU be neighbors with your sibling? Honestly, people think we’re incapable of being apart.
16. Are you going to the same college?
Nope.
17. Have you ever switched places?
The Parent Trap is a movie.
18. Do twins run in your family?
That’s probably why we’re here.
19. What’s it like being a twin?
Pretty sweet.
20. Do your parents confuse you guys?
*laughs out loud*
21. You guys look different but you also look the same.
Great.
22. You two are practically the same person.
Bruh, that’s so rude
23. I’m seeing double.
Funny.
24. You guys actually don’t look anything alike.
Thanks.
25. Oooh, Twin fight!!!
This should be an Olympic sport or something because people get really enthusiastic when we fight.
26. Do you have the same friends?
Yes, doesn’t mean they all like both of us.
27. If one person dates one of you, do they have to date the other as well?
Huh?
28. Did your parents dress you the same?
No, Thank God!
29. Are you sure you’re identical/fraternal?
Excuse me?
30. Do you have the same personality?
We’re separate people, honey.
31. Do you guys have a special handshake?
Actually, yes but it’s lame.
32. Do you have your own secret language?
That’s a secret.
33. Did you guys fight in the womb?
Yes, it was like Clash of the Titans.
34. Do you ever fight now?
Well I mean we’re siblings…
35. Omg, I’m in a Twin sandwich!
Am I supposed to feel magical?
36. I wish I had a twin.
Yeah, you do!
