Cat Levine, Reporter
@catcourant
Valentine’s Day is a time when people of all genders compete for who has the most pathetic love life. While some choose to go out on February 14, others decide to pull a “Galentine’s” or an all-girls Valentines at home, binge watching netflix and eating food. Here are the characters and personas at a Galentine’s Day event, The Office style.
The Muncher: You can find this person heading straight to the kitchen and inhaling the chips, snacks, dinner and desserts that are out for everyone, but really they’re just hoarding it for themselves.
Fluffy Eyed: This person only has eyes for the animals, and feels that instead of being with a romantic partner, they can substitute it with cute, furry love.
The Ranter: This is the person that has recently broken up with their partner, and joined last minute because their previous plans for a romantic night were obviously canceled. You can tell they’ll be talking about and online stalking their ex for the entire evening.
The Heartless: This person isn’t necessarily cold, but they just don’t understand the hype surrounding Valentine’s Day. This person is not afraid to shut a person up if they complain about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
The Whiner: This is the person that is so love sick, they have a void in their chest that they complain about non stop for the entire night, and can only talk about how much they want to spoon or cuddle with someone.
The Cheap Knockoff: This person believes that they’re cupid, and after hearing their friends profess their love for someone, will attempt to set them up, and end horribly wrong.
The Preacher: This is the person that sets up the entire “galentine” night, and will constantly try to lift people’s spirits by repeating slogans like “hoes before bros” or “sisters before misters”.
The Screamer: This person doesn’t actually care about Valentine’s Day, but decides to use this night to be angry about anything and everything.
The Fugitive: This is the person that is extremely bored and is willing to do anything it takes to leave early so they can go out.
The Couldn’t Care Less: This is the person that just wants to watch the movie and can’t stop laughing because they don’t understand why everyone’s freaking out on Valentine’s Day.
