Carly Risom
Reporter
Hey all you football fans. I am here for an update on your beloved sport. Everybody enjoys a good game, but with it can come such scandal.
Above all are the parties, and with parties comes the coveted food. Loosen your pants and open your mouth! Seven layer dip, Scoops, salsa, brownies, shriveled vegetables discarded in the corner. You want it, ‘Merica’s eatin’ it. By the time the actual game is over, you will look like you’re wearing seven layers, and may have guacamole in your hair.
If you get the chance to attend a real a-lister, you may even get to bet on the winning team. Will it be the Ravens or the Niners? Nobody actually cares, except for I guess, Ray Lewis. All I know about the 49ers is that my third grade math “assistant” used the team’s name to remember the product of seven and seven. I still recall that day at the “banana table”, aka center for the mathematically challenged, so I suppose it was an effective method.
Now, let’s be honest; one of the main reasons why we all watch the Super Bowl is for the commercials, so we can become even more in debt. Together we can find a cure. Regardless, Super Bowl ads will always be more relevant than normal ads. Some may say that they are even more relevant than some celebrities, like the Olsen twins. I still can’t tell them apart…and I’m a twin, so that’s saying a lot. The ads have been utilized by companies for decades, as the Bowl is one of the most heavily viewed events on T.V. Usually Kia and Taco Bell make their rounds, trying their best to seem cool. Stop trying to make a Dorito taco shell happen, it’s not going to happen!!! You know what will happen though? An even more obese America. Luxury car companies sometimes have captivating ones. Watch out Mila Kunis! Your boyfriend Ashton Kutcher is featuring in a Mercedes Benz ad with Kate Upton. At least there’s something good for everyone.
Obviously, the half-time show is a pretty big deal. My homegirl Beyonce will be shakin’ her thang during half-time this year. You really can’t miss that, and hopefully America will finally be able to get a peek at Blue Leaf or whatever her daughter’s name is. Despite the fact that B allegedly lip-synced her recitation of the “Star Spangled Banner”, she still wants you to put a ring on it. You go girl…ain’t nobody got time for memorization.
Other than the food and actually watching is the attire. Honestly, until J.Crew comes out with camp socks emblazoned with football team logos, you won’t be seeing too many NC chicas supporting their fave teams. Unless, of course, you score front-row seats at the actual game. Boys can pull off wearing actual jerseys and sweatpants, while simultaneously filling their pockets with pigs in blankets. For those of you who don’t watch the Super Bowl and feel violated sitting in a couch filled with more crumbs than cushion, that’s kosher too.
