Tiger Moms push their cubs to succeed

Sara Levine
Features Editor

In a competitive town like New Canaan, parents are determined for their kids to excel in every way possible. As a result, while most likely not as extreme, some students claim that they’re familiar with the “tiger” form of parenting. The ancient Chinese zodiac took on a new meaning earlier this year in the form of “Tiger Mom.” This phrase, which describes a parent who pushes their kids to excel academically or athletically, appeared in January, following the publication of Amy Chua’s “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” in The Wall Street Journal. The resulting criticism of this overbearing form of parenting has led to a reevaluation of priorities in America.

Most students recognize that parents pressure their kids because they want them to get into the best school possible. “Obviously parents want their kids to get into a good college, so they think that in order for this to happen, they need to raise the bar higher,” said freshman Bridget Callahan.

Senior Holly Barra agreed. “High school is not only a wake up call for students, but their parents too,” she said.

Although many students don’t start thinking about college until high school, College and Career Center Coordinator Susan Carroll explained the process from a Tiger Mom’s perspective. “I don’t think some of the parents have become more forceful at the high school level, they’re like that starting in preschool,” she said. “The reality is that there is competition to get into a top tier college and parents recognize that.”

Consequently, many parents add to the pressure students already face at school to do well. “Parents don’t realize the pressure put on students by teachers and peers,” Holly said.

Many students believe that when they’re stretched too thin, the extra pressure from their parents is not beneficial to their learning. “I find that when my mom pushes me more, it only makes everything harder because I feel worse about myself,” Bridget said.

However, increased parent involvement sometimes helps students work harder. “I wouldn’t say my parents pressure me, but it helps when they push me to excel academically,” junior Eric Persky said.

Junior Rebecca Trinklein agreed. “My parents have always had high standards,” she said. “It gives me a reason to work hard not only for myself, but for them too.”

This leads students to question the motive of kids to work hard. “It comes to a point where you have to ask yourself how much do you want to put in for yourself versus your parents?” senior Nick Grandin said.

This is not to say that Tiger Moms are heartless; in fact, some believe that the pressure they put on their kids shows just how much they do care. “I think that wanting success for a child starts out from a place of love. But unfortunately sometimes parents lose perspective and they forget the sheer joy of being a kid,” said Ms. Carroll.

As a result, many students with Tiger Parents sacrifice the typical high school experience with a race to get into college. “We’ll only be high school students once and some students are so worried to get into college that they forget that,” Nick said.

Although Tiger Moms push their kids to be the best they can be, the amount of pressure they use sometimes has no limit. Ms. Carroll explained, “In the best possible world, this type of parenting focuses on the importance of education; but it doesn’t seem to end there. It goes beyond education and becomes success at all costs.”