Audrey Piehl
Opinions Editor
“Do you have a Twitter?”
I have been asked that questions approximately 1,213, 545 times. The pool of those who have inquired include fellow students, close friends, strangers, teachers, and my own parents. My answer, a simple “no,” often produces a fierce barrage of insistence:
“You should totally get one! It’s so much fun, really.”
Really? Really? Is it that much fun? Is staring at a string of 140-character tidbits really fun? But then I reflected on my own Internet bookmarks bar, and who am I to talk; I’ve had a Facebook page since the phenomenon swept through Saxe. I’ve been staring at FML and “like for a truth is” statuses for years.
And I too participate in another time-sucking-black-hole determined to drag me away from homework: Instagram. Since upgrading to the wondrous and sometimes cult-like realm of the iPhone, I have signed up for photocentric app, only to become my worst nightmare: a wannabe hipster. Photos of sandwiches, shoes, and flowers galore. Oh, the humanity!
Other than becoming an obnoxious indie-woman, there are deeper and even sinister side effects of social networking. Facebook and it’s cohorts pride themselves on enriching the lives of others based upon an efficient and easy way to share. However, these websites and apps have quickly become vehicles for glorifying oneself at the expense of others.
When you see the pictures of that pool party or concert, of white teeth gleaming and inspirational lyrics placed below, one may feel excluded. And that feeling of exclusion, of others having so much more happiness than yourself, leads to a subtle sadness. It isn’t laced with emo rock or multiple piercings, so for many it’s barely detectable from day to day. But it’s always there after logging on and taking a gander through the allegedly super busy and exciting lives of Facebook friends, many of which aren’t “friends” with you at all. This process works in the reverse as well; posting that new profile picture, a headshot in a park or something, is basically asking for someone to become briefly envious of your gorgeous looks and comment accordingly for all to see.
Even Tumblr, a social media website proclaiming it’s nonconformity, falls under the same unpleasant spell. There are not enough cat and rain gifs in the world to counterbalance the amount of hot celebrity photos on that Dashboard making one feel bad for not being Zooey Deschanel or Ryan Gosling.
But what makes it all so unhealthy is that these accounts are almost impossible to get rid of once you’ve had them; an internet STI per say. Facebook, in particular, has become an epicenter for organization. I’d miss every birthday and club meeting if I didn’t check my Wall every day. Plus, you don’t want to miss that cultural nugget that will eventually serve as inspiration for Senior t-shirts or multiple YouTube parody videos.
That’s why I will not get a Twitter; no need for another Zuckerberg influencing my subconscious through the computer. I hope that answers your question.
