Charlie Dorf
Senior Editor
With films like No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits increasing in popularity, the practice of casual sex merits mention. The idea of sex without emotional connection confuses some, disgusts others and appeals to more still.
Senior Juliet breaks casual sexual relationships into different subcategories, based on the prior and future contact between both parties. “I’d say there are varying degrees. The most casual would be a one night stand, since chances are, the two people had little to no intentions of hooking up with that person outside of that setting, and I think it takes a certain amount of leniency to do that,” she said.
The next two categories involve a degree of commitment or consistency, though not necessarily exclusivity. “Then there’s the ‘booty call,’ where at least the person was in your contacts before the encounter, and chances are you’ve had an experience with them before. Then there’s consistent hooking up with ‘no strings’ as it was, where it’s a completely physical relationship but they still go back to one another,” Juliet said.
For senior Guster, the definition of casual sex doesn’t rely upon the boundaries or ‘type’ of relationship, but instead the involvement of emotions. “Frankly you can be dating someone and be sexually active and it still be casual, as long as you don’t put any feelings or emotions behind it,” he said.
School psychologist Dr. Rossella Fanelli commented that, for her, an emotionally detached sexual relationship is not conducive with healthy emotional expression. “I feel the idea of casual sex is a misnomer. I feel a sexual relationship is going to bring forth emotions. It’s a profound emotional experience, regardless of gender. Are there people who have casual sex? Yes. Do I see it as emotionally healthy? No,” she said.
The stigma Guster sees surrounding casual sex stems from the worth that culture as well as individuals place on sexual relationships. “Casual sex might be great for a person, but no one wants to feel like they’re getting passed around,” he said. “Sex is generally seen as something that establishes a “deeper connection,” so they feel looked down upon if they don’t feel that connection.”
The frequency of casual sex, according to Juliet, finds its basis in gender as well as sex. “For men, it’s much more biological. The goal is, for lack of better words, to ‘spread the seed.’ They are pre-programmed to have a much more relaxed take on sex, whereas women, facing the risk of pregnancy and motherhood, subconsciously see sex as something much more intimate and special,” she said.
Maturity, that is, emotional control when it comes to sex, is something Juliet feels is out of reach for most high school students. “Also, for high school students I think sex usually changes the dynamic of a relationship. There are people who go on one night stand sprees, but then there’s often an underlying internal conflict, and even if it’s not apparent, it still means something, though what that something is is often unclear. I feel like it’s different once you get older, and are able to compartmentalize your feelings so you know when to turn them off and on.”
Regardless of sex or age, Guster feels that any prolonged casual sexual relationship ultimately results in unbalanced feelings. “I’d say a casual sex relationship is almost a misnomer for high school students, because one side always starts to feel something more for the other,” he said. “But since it’s ‘casual’ you aren’t supposed to feel anything, and you only want to get laid, once it ends somebody is going to end up hurt.”
