Carly Risom
Reporter
Last week, I walked into my science classroom and noticed a sign near the white board. It read, “Warning: Midterms are closer than they appear.” I’m sorry but that is just such a bad joke…and I didn’t laugh. I immediately had flashbacks to my eyes being completely bloodshot, the feeling you get when you realize that you needed to have those forty-two Spanish flashcards memorized yesterday, and the sweet taste of stress. Nobody likes to take tests, except for maybe that one kid in your class that hands in theirs nearly half an hour before everyone else. Didn’t Cady Heron teach you that failing on purpose doesn’t get you the guy? I love that color on you.
If you asked Deena from Jersey Shore, she would undoubtedly tell you that taking a test is not a good time. So why even bother taking midterms? Wouldn’t it be easier to go to the boardwalk? I don’t want to sound like your grandmother, but students have been taking tests since colonial times, even when they wrote with chalk by candlelight. They assess your ability to pay attention in class, to synthesize information from August to January and to perform at a satisfactory level without the assistance of Google Translate and Spark Notes. Do not use either one of these websites, because you will get caught. And die. Essentially, however, they determine if you are capable of preparing for a test, a fundamental skill necessary for the rest of your academic career. According to adults, life itself is a classroom. So you better keep flashcards and your Lilly Pullitzer highlighter on hand at all times.
THE MIDTERM DIET
Like Emily Blunt once said in The Devil Wears Prada, “I’m on this new diet. Basically, I don’t eat anything, and when I feel as if I’m about to faint, I eat a cube of cheese.” Who has time to eat when cramming for a history midterm? No one! That’s why it’s essential to keep easily accessible snacks near your desk, or desirable study location. In my house, all we have is glorified bird food in the form of a bar, but if you have anything like Oreos or cheese sticks, have at it. Midterms come around only once a year. Nobody likes a skinny test taker.
THE STUDY LOCATION
My dining room table is a personal favorite. It is big enough to host five classes, as well as a laptop, flashcards, water bottle…and food. If you want to do the “WHATEVER I’M YOUNG,” approach and study on your bed, be my guest. It’s not my fault if you sleep through your testing period. If you want to go really hard, go to the library. The New Canaan Library is a bit too dusty for my liking, but if you’re down to study in carrels inscribed with profanities, that’s fine. In my opinion, the Darien Library is much more study-friendly. I went there during a hurricane to charge my devices and was there for over three hours….they have a snack bar. Blue Wave: 1 Rams: 0.
FOCUS
You have to bite the bullet and turn off your phone. Try it for at least an hour. You can even hide it from yourself, if you’re in the mood to find it at eleven thirty in the pitch black. Helen Keller was a hugely accomplished lady. If she could do it, you can too. Besides your phone, there’s the comp. It’s just so easy to hit command T, and resisting the urge to tab Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, StumbleUpon and obviously PowerSchool is just about as hard as school itself. Do not check PowerSchool. If you are in the mood to completely fall of the face of the earth, try the SelfControl app for your Mac. It lets you set a timer for how long you want to block websites such as the ones mentioned above. Just make sure you don’t block Google Docs by accident, or, God forbid, Descubre.
ATTIRE
No good studying story ever started with someone putting on a pair of jeans. For girls, you’ve gotta have the leggings and long sleeve tee. If you’re a boy, I guess you’ve never experienced the feeling of leggings, so you can go put on your dingy sweats. My Dartmouth ones make me feel intelligent. Sporting a t-shirt that reminds you of the summertime is a great motivator, while tees from charity 5-Ks are a bit of a downer. Because it’s the dead of winter, as evidenced by how especially white people have been looking these days, socks or Bean slippers are an obvi. If you have a Pataguch, which apparently everyone does now, go ahead and pull that on. When you’ve decided that it’s no longer your color, feel free to donate it to a charity. Those things could feed the entire country of Tanzania. If you don’t get to experience the comfort of a Synchilla, a Vineyard Vine’s Shep Shirt is a must. Mine gets me out of bed in the morning.
BREAK TIME
Do not eat a Kit-Kat. Just because it’s “break time” does NOT mean you have to eat a chocolate-covered wafer. Please. I really dislike that commercial. If it’s four o’clock and you’ve been home since nine thirty, an episode or two of Workaholics or New Girl is totally justified. I don’t recommend watching a 45-minuter, as that can turn into a vicious cycle. A 22-minuter is much more reasonable, and you essentially get twice the entertainment for the price of one. In the case of Gossip Girl or Grey’s Anatomy reruns, I recommend avoidance at all costs. Everybody knows what happens when you see Chair together or a really heart-pounding scene in the ER.
Hide yo’ social life, hide yo’ uncomfortable clothes and sharpen yo’ pencils. It’s midterm week everyone.
