Carly Risom
Reporter
Every year, the Connecticut Academic Proficiency Tests are administered to sophomores. Being a soph’ myself, I am really looking forward to comparing and contrasting biodiesel and sewage waste as efficient types of energy products before 9 a.m. According to her Twitter, Kim Kardashian will have worked out and gotten a manicure by then, oh boy. Does Essie make a color called ‘Lazy?’ I’m sure it would be more popular than my personal favorite, ‘Butler Please.’
Regardless, these tests are somewhat important, and may require some actual focus. If you fail them, you’ll be taking them again junior year. If that doesn’t work either, pencil it in for your senior year, like a 13oss. Three strikes you’re out! Fail them again, and you’ll be spritzing water on yourself in the stands while you watch the rest of your class graduate.
To everyone else, CAPT week means getting to sleep-in while the tenth graders grind away in test booklets. Classes start after 9 for freshmen, juniors and seniors. This is just like boarding school! The CAPT rave is also a maj’ event held on the Tuesday of the first week. The Outback is for more than just 6th grade bangers. I love your dress! Where did you get it? …Forever 21. Excuse me while I drop it low.
Moreover, the additional sleep brings a little bit of leeway in terms of actually doing work. Why do a problem set or conjugate verbs when Hulu is just a tab away? You’re getting up at 8:30; first period is usually over by then. Even better, hang out with a couple of friends. A little soda goes a long way on a Monday night.
For athletes, CAPTs are synonymous with preseason, which is synonymous with living death. Holla’ to all lacrosse chicas! Who doesn’t love getting up in the morning and falling on the floor? For those freshmen that don’t know where the elevators are, have a great time hiking up the stairs from Spanish 1 to Earth Science. The only person that can actually walk up that many stairs without blacking out is the trainer herself. At least the added sleep will ease the pain as you try to sit down on one of those red, plastic classroom chairs that look like they belong at a barbeque.
If you’re a 2-sem senior, CAPT week is looking pretty good right now. I’m assuming that SATs kind of put a damper on the whole spring season for juniors, but freshmen get to enjoy their new high school adventures. Sophomores will be slaving away tomorrow morn for Interdisciplinary Writing. Peace, Love and Standardized Testing!
