Julia Hardy
Arts, Entertainment & Technology Editor
Even though the fairy tales we read in our parents’ laps were not actually the originals (ask Dr. Schneider to show you the disturbing, real “Little Red Riding Hood,”) we remember them as the dreams-come-true stories written for innocent children. So how did “Hansel and Gretel” and “Jack and the Beanstalk” go from pre-K adventures to epic R/PG-13 movies?
“Jack and the Beanstalk” vs. “Jack the Giant Slayer”
In the film, Jack is a farm boy who gets tangled up in royal shenanigans and old secrets. Here’s what changed from the original tale.
Difference #1: Jack gets a luvvah
Jack and Isabel sitting in a tree beanstalk, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Grown up from the original story to be the ripe age of eighteen, Jack’s adventures are as much about Isabel as the giants. Even before Jack and Isabel get cozy, Isabel changes Jack’s purpose in climbing the beanstalk. Isabel is the princess of the land, so when she disappears up the beanstalk with the giants, Jack becomes part of the brigade to climb up and save her. In other words, Jack becomes the noble man saving the damsel in distress instead of the thief from the original story who stole gold and ran away.
Difference #2: more…everything
In the movie, Jack wasn’t the first to make a beanstalk grow to giant land. Nor was there only one beanstalk that grew throughout the movie. Beanstalks up to giant land, beanstalks down to earth, beanstalks…well the wives’ tale that if you eat a watermelon seed you’ll grow a watermelon inside of you applies. Instead of one giant saying “Fee Fye Fo Fum,” there were four different giants named Fee, Fye, Fo and Fum. The movie also had more people going up the beanstalk (and more than one giant coming down) which just meant more epic battle scenes. If you were in a battle between 100 giants throwing flaming trees and 100 teeny people with some arrows, which side would you choose?
Difference #3: the crown
Plot twistttt. With so many giants, the only way to make them go back up the beanstalk once they’ve come down is to have the magical crown that controls them. Compared to the original story where the giant was easily killed by chopping down the beanstalk, this added a new dimension that made it all the more suspenseful.
Overall:
Even though it was so different from the original fairytale, the movie was intriguing. I kind of liked the giant with two heads and the romantic quest to save the princess that they added in. The movie gave the story a new life.
“Hansel and Gretel” vs. “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters”
The original story of Hansel and Gretel only lasted for the first five minutes of the film. Here’s what they changed to make Hansel and Gretel all grown up as badass witch hunters.
Difference #1: the witches
Maybe it’s because it was too scary to visualize, but I pictured the witch that captured Hansel and Gretel to be a really old woman circa “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” That’s not what the movie had in mind. The witches in Witch Hunters, and yes it’s plural since there are at least 300 witches throughout the movie, have spasms that turn them into crackly, ugly things with bright eyes. One of them looks like P!nk. All of them were a bit overdone, especially in the fight scenes.
Difference #2 : the weapons
Since when does a candy house have giant daggers, let alone machine guns? Because most of the movie takes place when Hansel and Gretel have grown up to be professional witch hunters, there’s a lot of new weaponry. In the movie, the siblings use crossbows and snipers instead of ovens as their main witch-killing tools. In the many battle scenes, and I mean many, Gretel always seems to get into a fist fight with a witch and sometimes an ogre. Girl, work those muscles.
Difference #3: story style
When you make a fairy tale modern and epic, you need to introduce some new vocabulary. That’s how the tale, which says, “By a great forest dwelt a poor wood-cutter with his wife and his two children,” becomes “Once upon a time near a sh*tty little town, a farmer fell in love.” I won’t say who with because, well it’s a plot twist.
Overall:
The overdone violence of the movie and all its added plot twists can’t replace the sentimental feelings I have for the original storyline. Most of it was forgettable–except this quote: “1. Never walk into a house made of candy. 2. If you’re gonna kill a witch, set her ass on fire.”
