Carly Risom
Reporter
According to the Mayans, we will all be witnessing the end of the world on December 21st. Okay. So perhaps they had a lil’ bit too much time on their hands between sacrificial parties, (if you haven’t seen House Bunny, I’m so sorry), or building temples. Regardless, they banged out a comprehensive calendar determining when the world is going to come to an end. What does this mean for us? First things first, there will be a frenzy of tweets and Facebook posts. I already have my potentially “last” tweet composed in my head, so get cracking. Amongst the social media swirl, there is obviously a need for a last-minute bucket list. Who is there to provide a list for you? …Hey it’s me.
TMI Tuesday! Let a friend know what’s on your mind. Banking on the fact that you don’t get totally popped by your teacher, slip in a totally rando’ fact that you’re sure nobody knows about you. Back on the homefront, shake things up a bit. Text an old friend. Shoot an email to Profe just to say hi. Maybe even pull a R. Frost and write a poem. Make people know you are there. In the words of Steve Martin, “Be so good they can’t ignore you”. Elle Woods eventually graduated from Harvard Law. Did anyone forget about her? Bend and snap. That’s all there is to say.
Wednesday is one of the most awkward days of the week, next to Tuesday. Who ever wants to be in the middle? Nobody wants to sit in the middle seat of a car. We all know how it can go when you sit in the middle of a chairlift at Stratton mountain, or your respective VT resort. One particular winter, I sat in the middle of the chairlift and dropped my ski pole. Skiing one-poled is not as fun as it looks. My uncle, who is quickly approaching the ripe old age of 70, uses one ski pole to help him learn how to snowboard down the Bunny Slope. Pretty sure that’s just about the only way to use a single ski pole. Anyway, there is only one day left after today. Grab a Zumbach’s! Raid CVS. Practice your spanish on the employees at Dunkin’ Donuts, channel your inner Blair Woldorf at Starbucks, try on the most expensive thing in Ralph Lauren, ask to “sample” all of the makeup at Benefit, maybe even get a coconut cupcake at Rosie’s. Upon returning to your casa, bang out some verse in MS Word, do your Descubre, whatever floats your academic boat. Go to bed early, though. You don’t want to look ugly on your last day on Earth. Anyone want a Hump Day treat?
Throwback Thursday! Technically, you could do a picture from Monday. That’s just as legit as one from fourth grade, considering that this is the last week ever. Besides infiltrating Instagram with posts, you may also want to fulfill your other social media obligations. Twitter? Facebook? Tumblr? Pinterest? Come on, you must have a username and password for at least one. Post your last Mupload…mine will always be blurry because I have BlackBerry….Tweet your last TwitPic, tumble your last pics of ambiguously inspirational quotes, and pin that very last picture of your dream wedding dress, dream treehouse, dream Nantucket abode… It being the night before the half-day preceding break, you shouldn’t have too much homework. Make sure you catch the very last episode of Jersey Shore. If you aren’t into observing the questionable behavior of intoxicated orange men and women, that’s fine I guess. Watching people run up and down a boardwalk and play with stuffed animals in a ghetto Jersey house isn’t for everyone. During the last two hours of your existence, jot down a quick list of things you have never done that you wish you did. Complete at least two. If one of those is streaking down your road with five minutes to midnight or admitting your love to your Saxe crush, I didn’t tell you to do so.
Friday may or may not be our last day on this glorious planet. If it isn’t, it has been a good run here at the Courant. I would like to thank all of my editors, the entire Journalism 1 class, Mr. McAteer and Mr. Cebulski, the Journalism printer, Google Docs, and the Christmas elf that put that huge jar of mini candy canes on Cebulski’s desk. If we live to see Friday, December 21st, 2012, then have a thirty-second dance party to “Stayin’ Alive” by Bee Gees. Why? Well, in the words of Marcel the Shell: ‘Cause it’s worth it.
