Teenage sex and sexuality: a ‘touchy’ subject

Emma Hutchins
Section: Opinions

“This one time…at band camp….” You know the movies. Them of the profanity-filled jokes that linger around late night time slots on Comedy Central. Long story short: sexually-frustrated-boy-meets-too-‘cool’-for-him-world and hilarity ensues. But beneath the façade of being a harmlessly crappy look into teen angst, these movies also place sexual pressures on the audience (of whom a good portion probably find the protagonist’s tale all too familiar).

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Emma Hutchins
Opinions Editor

No sleepovers. No choice in extracurriculars. No being “No.2” or below in classes other than gym or drama. Even no bathroom breaks until a certain piano piece is performed perfectly. Western Parenting, meet Amy Chua’s controversial child-rearing memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Meoowww, is right.

A word, a book, and a truth

Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor

English classes everywhere: it is going to be okay. You can now take that much-needed sigh of relief because, praise Jesus, a new edition of Huckleberry Finn is going to be released. This one will assuage the fears of unassuming English students and nervous English teachers everywhere because, in this new edition, all n-words will be replaced with the word “slave.”

Students will no longer be so drastically and horribly forced to read something that makes them uncomfortable

Eight ways to define Santa Claus that prove that definitions aren’t good at defining

Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor

1. Little and old—terms given to slow, overly cautious drivers or the frail, sick, and weak elderly we sometimes like to shove into retirement homes

2. Dressed all in fur—either this means he facilitates the murder of innocent animals (can you say cute baby seals?) or he is a member of an Alaskan Inuit tribe.

3. Clothes tarnished by ashes and soot—is he an orphan-forced-chimney sweep in 19th century England? Or a hobo straight of the streets of New York City? You decide.

The Peter Pan Generation

Emma Hutchins
Opinions Editor

Generation Y. We’re hot, tech-savvy, impatient, globalized, spendthrifts, and we’re also suffering from Peter Pan disorder? Huh? Yes, Wikipedia has recently enlightened me that we’re also called the Peter Pan generation, because just like the characters in J.M. Barrie’s tale, we just don’t seem to want to grow up.