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NCHS from the student’s point of view…

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A word, a book, and a truth

Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor

English classes everywhere: it is going to be okay. You can now take that much-needed sigh of relief because, praise Jesus, a new edition of Huckleberry Finn is going to be released. This one will assuage the fears of unassuming English students and nervous English teachers everywhere because, in this new edition, all n-words will be replaced with the word “slave.”

Students will no longer be so drastically and horribly forced to read something that makes them uncomfortable

Opinions

Eight ways to define Santa Claus that prove that definitions aren’t good at defining

Ellen Trinklein
Opinions Editor

1. Little and old—terms given to slow, overly cautious drivers or the frail, sick, and weak elderly we sometimes like to shove into retirement homes

2. Dressed all in fur—either this means he facilitates the murder of innocent animals (can you say cute baby seals?) or he is a member of an Alaskan Inuit tribe.

3. Clothes tarnished by ashes and soot—is he an orphan-forced-chimney sweep in 19th century England? Or a hobo straight of the streets of New York City? You decide.

Opinions

The Peter Pan Generation

Emma Hutchins
Opinions Editor

Generation Y. We’re hot, tech-savvy, impatient, globalized, spendthrifts, and we’re also suffering from Peter Pan disorder? Huh? Yes, Wikipedia has recently enlightened me that we’re also called the Peter Pan generation, because just like the characters in J.M. Barrie’s tale, we just don’t seem to want to grow up.

Opinions

Unofficial guide to NCHS diseases

Emma Hutchins
Opinions Editor

It’s that time of the year again. The sun slowly recedes, Uggs return from their reverse hibernation, Kleenex sales make a noticeable spike, and my mom nags me to get the flu shot (to which I usually scour the internet for horror stories of obscure allergic reactions as “evidence” that our doctor is actually being overdramatic, really, I will be fine without being punctured by the primitive harpoon the nurse calls a needle).

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