Serra Oral
Senior Editor–Opinions
Teenage sex has been a long disputed topic. When is the right time to do it? With whom is the right person? What should the situation be when that person has sex? This debate can ultimately be broken down into one decision: to become abstinent or not.
Abstinence is the idea that one should wait to have sex after they are married. “Sex is a beautiful and natural expression of love to be shared between husband and wife,” senior Tina said. “I believe that it should be reserved for marriage.”
Though for some it may not appear to be, to have sex can be a big decision and should not be taken lightly. “At this point in our lives, people tend to be extremely immature about sex and might not always care about their partner,” Tina said. “They are driven by their sexual needs, and don’t realize that love and a lasting emotional connection is necessary in sex. Sex should be more than just physical fun.”
Even so, for some of those who have chosen to not be abstinent, the decision to have sex can still be seen as an expression of love, even if it is not before marriage. “While not necessary for a relationship to function, it can help couples become closer together and have a more satisfying relationship, both physically and emotionally,” senior Luna said.
Oftentimes, religion can be a significant factor in the decision to remain abstinent. Even so, some believe that it should be more of a personal choice whether or not to have sex. “Religion can’t dictate one’s views of premarital sex and whether or not you are going to have it,” Luna said. “I would never want to be a part of a religion that told me when I could have sex or not.”
There are still deeper factors than just the religious influence though when it comes to making that decision, as senior Arnold, who has chosen to be abstinent, stated. “A large part of it was religious reasons but I also think the concept behind sex is the complete giving of one’s self and you can only really do that once,” he said. ”If you do that before marriage you kind of already committed to marrying that person.”
Another influence can be parents. “Parents have a reason to discourage sex,” Luna said. “They want their kids to be safe, not get pregnant, or contact diseases that will stay with them for life. But it gets to the point where they are simply being way too overprotective and they are not teaching their child the rules of life. The kid is going to be completely unprepared when they enter college and won’t understand that sex is emotional as well as physical. It will skew their view of it entirely.”
Yet in the end, the decision to become abstinent is based on personal views. “I certainly think it’s a possibility that without my older siblings as role models and my parents’ encouragement I might not have decided to become celibate,” Arnold said.“Both of those were big factors in my decision. But on a different note, when I made the decision, I did it without thinking about either of those. I thought about the future and what I wanted my idea of marriage and sex to be. It wasn’t a lighthearted decision.”
